Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(XTheLostChildXx@aol.com) on Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 12:40:58
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
charname: Skyler
race: Human
gender: Female
bdate: 07/04/1986 Europe
group: The Coven of Sindell
position: Inner Circle
descript: Skyler is about 5'6 with long midnight black wavy hair to about her waist, with deep midnight blue eyes.With in those swirling depths there seems to e a deep sarrow and confusion but also a strange but ancient power ready to escape.Her skin is a soft bronze with a strange symbol tattooed to her razor blade.A cilver chain hangs around her neck where a half cresent moon dangels against her skin.She is seen mostly all in black and never with out wearing a black trench coat but sometimes she might loosen up and splash in a few dark colors and a duster instead but it's not often.
history: Skyler is just barely seventeen but there is a deep ancient power with in her that she has barely glimpsed in times of great anger or fierce protectiveness. She has barely discovered who she really is for she knows that deep inside she is not what she appears to be.So with this she has come on her way to LA to try and find out who she reallyis and maybe even what she really is.Maybe I should go back a little ways to maybe about two-hundred years. A curse had been put on her family by a coven of black practicioners. The curse almost wiped out the entire BlackWolf family except for Emily Rose BlackWolf one of the strongest in there clan of witchs.A few years later she met a man Erik LeFay whom she fell deeply in love with and married.Soon after she became pregnant but when she birthed baby Reyan there where complications and she knew she would die.With her last moments of time she spoke. "When one is finally born with the love of her family and the spirit of a warrior she will
items: She wears a silver cresent moon around her neck on a silver chain that is very old and belonged to Emily Rose NightWolf her god mother.There is indeed a power in it but one she has yet to know of or understand.She always has with her mostly hidden a diary that was once Emilys and then was given to her mother.She holds it close to her and reads it and when the time comes all the pages will fill with there words when the time has come for her to discover it all.She keeps her fathers doubel bladed dagger in a sheath in her boot the only thing escept for one picture of her and her father she has left.
powers: Skyler has the powers to minipulate a storm her most powerful structure.Her most strongest of elents though is that of fire.She has some telakanesis powers wich she can sometimes convey thoughts and move things with her mind.She's very skilled in fighting hand to hand combat as well.
played_by: eliza dushku
player: I've played in Realms of Kaos and have acted in numerouse SL's i've been Role Playing for over six years now and I love it all.I'm 15 now soon to be 16 july 4th yea! I've had a few jobs i worked with the carnival for a summer and then worked at my cousins shop near my home.Umm i love to read and write and especially sing.Horse backrideing is my number one thing and i love animals and anything that has to do with water.Well I think thats all I can really think of to say =0)
age: over13
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Login to post comments
- Post to Twitter
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
The folks at S:ATOF have a test they call the "Mary-Sue" test to pick out characters that are fluff. Just for yucks I'm gonna try it here.
1. Is Skyler a Slayer or a vampire?
No
2. Is she a descendant of a Slayer or was she made a vampire by Angelus, Spike, or the Master?
No.
3. Are rules that apply to others bent or broken for her?
Unknown.
4. Is she often maverick or unconventional, even compared to Buffy and/or Faith?
She's 17 and travelling the world without parents. I think that qualifies.
5. Is she able to accomplish something single-handedly that the entire Scooby Gang has not been able to accomplish together, or has only been able to accomplish at great cost (i.e., closes the Hellmouth beneath Sunnydale, restores a vampire's soul, removes the loophole of Angel's curse, vanquishes an entire nest of Master-like vampires, etc.)?
Unclear.
6. Does she excel at everything she turns her hand to or conversely, does she fail at everything she turns her hand to, but is forgiven?
Unknown, but I lean toward yes.
7. Is she connected to a series regular, either through familial or psuedo-familial ties (Giles' illegitimate daughter, Descendent of Angel, Spike, Drusilla, etc., "adopted" daughter, etc.) or through a romantic relationship?
Her ties to Sindell notwithstanding, it appears not.
8. Is she unusually physically attractive?
Yes.
9. Does she have unusual eye colour (violet, amber, etc.)?
Deep Midnight Blue..Check.
10. Is her hair is mentioned repeatedly (down to her waist, fell in blue-black waves, etc.)?
It's mentioned. Not to excess I don't think.
11. Does she have an unusual name (including spelling variations of common names involving y or e, nicknames, fantasy names, etc.)?
Yes, she does--"Skyler." Not a common name by anyone's measure.
12. Is she immediately accepted into Scooby Gang without question or must she prove her worthiness to accepted into Scooby Gang by performing Slayer-like feats ?
Her Sindell connection assures her at least a passing familiarity and acceptance from the LA crew.
13. Is she more Scooby than Scooby. (i.e., Is a better hacker than Willow, a better witch than Tara, as good or better hand-to-hand combatant as a Slayer, has more rare books than Giles, more occult connections than Willy the Snitch, etc.)?
Yes. She's 17-years old and has already mastered Elemental magic.
14. Does she have uncanny or supernatural abilities and skills (i.e., a witch, a demon, a werewolf, etc.)?
Yes. She's a telekinetic as well as an elementalist.
15. Is she unusually accomplished for her age (is an 18 year old Watcher, 16 year old member of the Initiative, etc.)?
Yes.
16. Is she miraculously spared by every vampire she meets, rather than immediately turned into snackfood?
Not sure theres not enough background to go by.
17. Does she have a particularly traumatic past?
Yes. Her mother died her family is cursed and her father's name is "LeFay" implying a connection to Morgan LeFay and or the Fae of our universe.
18. Is she universally liked and/or respected?
No specified.
19. Does she have an excellent singing voice?
Not mentioned.
20. Does she share a hobby or passion with a Scooby or Watcher?
The Sindell Connection again. (Note this isn't a bad thing, it just shows a somewhat imitatve nature).
21. Does she die a heroic death and is she mourned by all?
No.
I am going to add these points as well...
22. Is she played by a member of either the Angel or Buffy Cast?
Yes. Eliza Dushku.
23. Is there a prophecy about her?
Yes. "When one is finally born with the love of her family and the spirit of a warrior she will..." it unfortunately got cut off.
24. Is the word "black" prominant in her background?
oh Yes. BlackWolf, Black Trenchcoat, Black Practicioners
----
Hm, not looking good for Skyler under this criteria. I think there's some interesting stuff here but a few things would have to change. Older (maybe 21/22), not Eliza Dushku, Magic is okay and elemental is alright (Storm of the X-Men anyone?) if toned down some but the TK and TP has to go.
Her background is a little muddled (Nightwolf/Blackwolf) and who is baby Reyan? But it can be rescued. I think the ultimate test of maturity will be if she can rewrite this within our suggestions. What do ya'll think?
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
LOL you must have read my mind Dave, as soon as I read about the hair and the eyes my first thought was 'god what a total Mary Sue'.
Also I'd have to agree that the character would have to be older than 17 if she were to be in the Inner Circle at Sindel. At 20 Kate was the youngest ever initiate into the Inner Circle so apart from suddenly having someone who is relatively a child (which is VERY unlikely) it wouldn't tally with what has already been established by my own character. (Most likely the applicant has just noticed that there is a coven faction and decided to included that without really knowing about how it has been played in game.)
I think there are some good things here, though I don't like her being so young plus such a powerful witch AND an expert at hand to hand combat, like, where are her weaknesses?? I like the idea of having a character who specialises in elemental magic, but not telekinesis as well - it just seems to be thrown in everyone's bag like an after thought. Plus the Eliza Dushku thing - big no no.
I'd say, if the applicant is willing to make the specified changes then maybe invite her in (if the new application is up to scratch that is) - if not, then no.
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
Thank God I didn't call m'girl Pearissawl, like I wanted.
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
Not much comment, but i sorta like it....maybe she may revise it a little?
Also what do you mean by a mary jane? no wait a mary sue....
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
I've seen Mary Sue used two ways in stories.
First, "Mary Sue" can refer to the author writting himself or herself into a fanfic piece. Usually in Mary Sue pieces, they revolve around some special thing the author has an inkling for, and the author . . . well, solves everything. The author might be the only one defeating the Mayor, or making everyone fall in love.
The second way has Mary Sue as... well, able to do damn near anything. Dr. Beverley Crusher is probably the most famous Mary Sue.
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
*sigh* I always seem to come on the tail end of these - so nothing much original to say I'm afraid.
As I read the profile these were my thoughts:
1. Good level of description overall (ignoring content for the moment). Despite the dodgy spelling, she has at least demonstrated that she can string together a sentence and make it interesting.
2. Content - hmm, awfully young for someone so powerful. And yes, the Inner Circle bothered me, too. I read the Inner Circle connection and reserved judgement, but then I saw she was only 17. No... at least mid-20's I'd have to argue.
3. More content - ancient curse and prophecy. To a limited extent these are ok (ie, the child Daye is destined to protect), but even the short, cut-off glimpse we got of this one smacks of overly profound destiny. Tone it down a bit, and we'll see.
4. Powers - not so fussed about these. Elemental magics (and yeah, I think she's just seen X-Men and wants to be Storm) AND telekinesis and telepathy? A little ott, but not if the TP and TK are at a basic level only and aren't overdone. I'd allow it, but with that qualifier.
5. Hmm, AND skilled at hand to hand combat? Either drop that or drop the TP and TK entirely, I'd say.
6. Eliza Dushku - sorry, illegal under the rules of application. No actor from the Buffyverse can be used for a pc. End of story. Pick someone else.
Overall - plenty here to work with. She's gone a little power-crazy, but some slight modifications should make this workable. I'd definitely be interested to read a second draft.
Character Proposal: Skyler (rejected)
Okay, Saadia. I think I can explain the concept of the Mary Sue.
Mary Sue is a perfect person. Mary Sue is the sixteen-year-old chief engineer who beams aboard the Enterprise and awes both officers and crew with her amazing technical knowledge that somehow manages to save the ship. Mary Sue is an supernaturally strong Immortal Slayer born of a vampire and a Watcher, and she makes Buffy look like a frail and fainting flower. Mary Sue can out-witch and out-hack Willow even if it is her first time either casting a spell or sitting down at a computer. Mary Sue is the bravest of the brave, capable of surviving a trek through the Amazon Jungle or the Gobi Desert without putting a foot wrong or moving a hair out of place.
Regular series characters always fall for Mary Sue upon first seeing her. It does not matter if the regular series character is married, recovering from a bad breakup or homosexual--the author's favorite character WILL fall in love with the Mary Sue. It's inevitable. By the end of the story, Mary Sue will have bedded her author's favorite character, married him or both.
Mary Sue is frequently related to or known to series regulars. In the Buffyverse, Mary Sue is often surnamed "Summers,"
"Giles," "Harris," "Chase," "Wyndam-Pryce," "Gunn,"or "Rosenberg." If she is the child of a series regular, she will either be Giles' illegitimate daughter or Buffy's daughter and the offspring of Angel or Spike. If she is human, she will most likely be a Slayer (or be a Potential acting as a Slayer) or a witch of nearly unlimited power that she will have no trouble controlling. If she is a vampire, she will have been sired by the Master, Angelus, Spike or Dru, and she will probably have a soul.
Mary Sue is usually gorgeous. Even if she is not, the other characters will behave as if she is. Mary Sue always has perfect hair--golden curls, chestnut tresses or blue-black waves that cascade down her back. Mary Sue often has oddly colored eyes as well, without having to resort to colored contacts--violet, amber, crystal green, tawny, the gold-green of a cat, etc. Mary Sue almost always has a flawless singing voice that would make the angels weep, despite the fact that she has no musical training.
Mary Sue is the character that the author wishes she could be.
Because Mary Sue has absolutely no flaws or defects or fears--after all, she's perfect!--it's difficult to build a story, or even an episode, around her. There are no narrative hooks in her personality that anyone else can take and run with. Mary Sues have an insidious way of stopping the action dead or of usurping the spotlight from series characters. They are also incapable of character growth and character development. Mary Sues, after all, begin at the pinnacle of success, and their authors will not allow them to feel fear, fail and so on. Where can a Mary Sue go from up?
If you want further information about Mary Sue, here are two excellent and informative sites:
Dr. Merlin's Guide to Fan Fiction (click on or scroll down to "V. Who Is Mary Sue and Why Does She Have to Die?")
You can find the guide at http://missy.reimer.com/library/guide.html
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE: 150 YEARS OF MARY SUE by Pat Pflieger, an amusing yet scholarly work about Mary Sues in nineteenth and twentieth century writings. Completely readable, without any of the dry pedantic tone that the word "scholarly" so often conjures up.
You can find it at http://www.merrycoz.org/papers/MARYSUE.HTM
Oh, and just for the record, we of SATOF didn't come up with the Buffy and Angel Mary Sue Litmus Test. (I wish we had!) Someone found it, and we've been using it ever since. You can find it at
http://www.loony-archivist.com/angel/buffy_litmus.html