Submitted by Logan on Sun, 07/20/2003 - 18:11
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To Ally and Matt: Bravo!
Your Paraguay night post was outstanding! It was romantic and touching and wonderfully exotic. Hats off!
By sheer cooincidence I happened to have latin music playing while i was reading your post which only enhanced it for me.
To everyone else...
If you are the kind of person who skips through the posts on occasion, be sure to read this one...fabulous!
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Heather.....
.....Ok, im like in shock...i dont believe your post...there is like some catch right? omg...omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg
SLASH: Why is not one on MSN that I can discuss this with AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Well that was....uh...unexpected at least...
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Definately a bit of evil on which Heather is to be commended, to be sure. ;)
Catch? hehe. Knowing Heather, there is or there isn't, and she'll go with the whole 'surprise' thing if there is.
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:twisted:
Thanks, guys. And I've just posted part 2. For those of you who want in on the aftermath, I daresay Daye will be contacting as many of the White Hats as she can to deal with this. And I'm also available for collabs for those who are interested in an encounter. :)
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Noooo, Tash has gone all evil and skanky AGAIN! - Sometimes I think you get a kick out of being mean Heather :P
And poor Drew :cry: :cry: why is it only the good die young?
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Damnit! Of all the times to go off on a mystical soul-seaking quest... :)
Because the forces of darkness, unlike the forces of light, like their meals to be young and still have their flavour in tact. Unlike the forces of light, who like to let the darkness linger until there's nothing else in the fridge to eat.
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Okay...
first, you have no idea how hard it's been to sit on this for so long.
second, I'll be available for collabs, but I work now...so we'll have to work something out. I'm off this sunday and monday.
third, Daye will be assembling a posse to go after Tash as soon as she gets her head back in the game. It may take her a couple of hours to recover as she's currently just sitting in a room with Drew's lifeless corpse, stunned and devastated.
okay...your turn...i'll check on this when i get home tonight...
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Orb of Thessula's at dawn anybody? Oh if only we knew of an ancient clan of gypsy's... :wink:
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Oh Tash and Drew, I hardly knew ye!
Well-done posts, all around :twisted:
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Um. . .I haven't even gotten to the other posts. There I was, getting my frequent soap opera bliss, offered by Kristen, and my world was, as usual, sublime. Then comes Heather with her MID-SEASON post that could have easily been a season cliff-hanger. I'm on my ass. Okay, so I was already sitting on my ass, but had I been standing. . .!
Heather, Heather, Heather.
Heather, Heather, Heather.
Never would have expected it. I liked how you made this event between Tash and some piddly little vampire. It reminds us that it doesn't take a Big Bad to cause serious damage. Even Buffy was in mortal danger on an episode by episode basis.
Thanks. I can see that I'm not the first to comment, but for my part,
Oh. . .MY. . . GOD
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I know this is on par with a kick to the groin, but when Tash gave Daye the finger, I had to chuckle out loud.
If you keep Tash surprising me like this, I might have to record Battlestar Galactica this Friday and read your next post, instead. (Maybe I can send you over to George Lucas's house. Kick that guy in the ass and tell him to be as courageous as you've just been.)
As far as I'm concerned, your whole first post and your second post with Kristen (who's been very accommodating to let you get away with this) have been one big "hot spot."
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Yes, exactly. We've had a few characters go out with a bang, and it seemed to me to be about time to have someone die of some inconsequential little turd in a back alley.
Mind you, it's been a bitch keeping this quiet. I conceived of this last July or so, then wrote it in November. That's when Kris got to join in on the conspiracy of silence. It wasn't easy for her, either, having to keep it to herself for so long. Then sometime in December or so Lou made a comment about Tash getting vamped and I had a terrible moment of panic until I realised she was just conjecturing. You gave me a turn then, missy, let me tell you.
Just in case anyone's wondering - no, she won't be living on in her current state. I expect the White Hats to get to her in pretty short order and deal with her in a very final manner. :)
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Holy sheet! Got me again. You're sending Tash to the ashes and dust? I didn't realize. I thought you'd give her an afterlife.
Dude, this is a monumental event in LABN. I missed out on what happened to Victor and Sorrow and Galen, but at least I'm here for this.
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Nothing happened to Galen, Siddy. When Adam wanted to change characters he handed him over to my tender loving care and I've kept him warm and safe from people who keep wanting to kill him off. ( :P @ Heather)
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Here's the big question -
Do you have another character lined up after you whack the vamped Tash? Or are you going to focus on FL? ;)
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Oh, I know, Lou. I read your last post--I can always look to you and Kristen for soap opera bliss. :) *Sigh* (Well, I can't look to Drew and Daye anymore, now can I?) What I meant was, all this character changing ocurred in my absense. I still don't know what's up with Sorrow and Victor.
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You should read Season Three, Sid. You are up for some tears...
(But there's some soap opera too, you seem to like it, and new and exciting characters, and big surprises, and a great season's finale, and... just go and read. :D)
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Too much information all at once.
You should read it to me. Sid likes bedtime stories. :)
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Lazypants!! :D
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Maybe. I just like schoolteachers to read to me in bed.
(Okay, now I really am wasting space. Sorry everybody. My next comment will actually be FEEDBACK.)
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I can summarize it pretty well:
It begins with the destruction of the drug-den Narcosis. It is destroyed in an explosion. Soon after that After Dark (the Vampire Brothel) is massacred.
The Brotherhood has announced that it is coming to town.
The brotherhood is a loose alliance of vampires related to The Master. Each of them is a qualified Elder vampire - most of them well over 1000 years old - who have in centries past allied themselves for protection and personal gain. Unfortunately they hate each other. At one time there were many more of the Brotherhood, but now these four are all that is left. but a chance opportunity has brought them together. The Slayer has just been called in LA.
Meanwhile the heroes have their own lives. Victor and Tash get married, Kate and Galen get Married, Nikolai and Zoë grow closer, and love is in the air. Even Alessa who is starting over, meets Chance, a heroic drifter, and they begin to bond. They both have pasts they are keeping secret from each other (or don't know all the details of) but they find that they fit well together nonetheless.
One night, the Stone of Ghortab begins to chant and Victor picks it up and walks out like a zombie. He is followed by Tash, Alice, Reah, Nikolai, Zoë and Darian. Sorrow, who was left behind, finds out that he is being punished for his handling of the Xavier situation. James is hunting for the woman who killed Ebony, his lover.
When Kate learns of the Brotherhood in LA, she tries to rally the White hats only to find that many of them are disappeared or in hiding. Alessa learns that her former lover and mentor Morris Giles (Ruper's Uncle) did not die but was instead turned by Dathan, the oldest and most powerful of the Brotherhood.
Alessa has Morris' diary on Dathan and tries to give it to a Watcher friend of hers: Ernie Longwood. Chance, Alessa, Cole, Vincent and Darlome team up to investigate but are thwarted at many turns. Kate and Daye try to find out where Tash and company have gone and find she was transported to another plane.
Tash, Alice, Reah, Nikolai and Darian were all transported by the Stone of Ghortab to G'rnatha, Victor's home plane. His growing soul has activated the Stone which has called him home to fulfill his destiny. They spend a little over a week on this plane at the end of which Victor's sol is parceled out to all of the G'rNathan Battle fields as a spark of soul. He becomes the Father of their self-awareness and elevates them from machines into full living beings.
Back on Earth the Brotherhood is systematically killing or driving out all of the Vampires in LA. This "cleansing" is leading to something much bigger than killing the Slayer. They begin to test her with little raids to see if she is worthy of some great purpose. Finally they kidnap her.
In the Hyperion hotel they perform a ritual that binds them to the Slayer. Their blod and hers are linked. Since the conflict in Sunnydale where Buffy Fell, the Slayer process is changed. Now, whenever a Slayer is 'chosen' all of the potentials feel a burst of power for a few hours. Finally it settles on a single chosen. Each time this happens, the Brotherhood hopes to 'steal' a small portion of that power.
Then, the unexpected happens, someone kills off the next five girls in the Slayer Succession just after they are chosen. The Brotherhood is boosted to incomprehensible levels of power in just a few weeks.
Alessa and Chance go to Paraguay seeking keys to Dathan. There the romance happens and they fall in love. They also find that there is a flower that grows in an isolated place that hods a key to his destruction. He has no efense agasint its power, but it must be harvested under special circumstances and used in a particular way.
Tash is determined to stay on G'rnatha since she lost Victor, but Alice subdues her and takes her home with the others. But time moves much faster on G'rnatha than it does on Earth. They arrive weeks after they left (and were only in G'rnatha for a few days).
For their part in the elevation of the G'rnathans, the Dimensional Travellers were each granted a boon. Darian had his friend Sebastian resurrected. He barely had a few days back on earth when Dathan brutally killed Sebastian. Swearing vengeance, Darian attacked Dathan. Dathan was unimpressed, but he saw something within Darian, the dark Fae Evexus. Evexus, once freed, served Dathan willingly.
Kate, Daye, and Sorrow are work with Morris' diary to plan the ritual that will destroy Dathan. Evexus works with Dathan to free another drapped evil, Dray'chen from Chance. Chance goes all evilly too.
Dray'chen kills Ernie's wife and mortally wounds Ernie himself. Zoë is killed brutally and her son goes missing. Nikolai swears vengeance. Dray'chen frees the dark side of James in the form of Ripper.
The White hats manage to put Evexus back but Darian foolisly gets recaptured. Dray'Chen goes on a killing spree. The Slayer Vampire Ellie turns Britney Spears to be her vampire slave. L'Than a demonic healer is mortally wounded and Nikolai offers to help. That help is a melding of souls between the Xanyarj demon and Nikolai.
Alessa and Cole (with help) bind Dray'chen back into Chance. Daye, Sorrow, Reah, Kate, Galen, Damen, Tash, Alessa, Cole, Vincent, Chance, Darlome, Jess and Alicia meet at Bibliophile prior to heading for the Hyperion, and are surprised by the arrival of Alaric and Zentara (from the Order of Valor) offering to help.
When the allies attack the Hyperion, Sorrow reveals that the one portion of the ritual to destroy Datahn that wasn't apparent (and that he'd been keeping secret) was that it required a sacrifice to complete. He volunteers. His spell destroys Dathan, and all of the vampires that descended from him all over the world including Nicholas (one of the Brotherhood). Only Morris manages to escape by joining the circle of protection that shields Sorrow during the ritual.
Sorrow is immolated by holy flame and the remaing Brotherhood flee. everyone returns home and mournes their losses. Victor, Sorrow, and Zoe are gone. Chance and Alessa's relationship is strained. Things are dark.
----
This is only a brief summary of SOME of the events. it does not cover a lot of the story including Ambrose Delancre's part in the Slayer killing. or Amanda's finding her cousin Quin, or Jade and Valerian's betrayal of Sorrow. But as a general rule it covers the high points.
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Hopefully that summary will prompt you to go "OMG!" and go back and read the whole thing.
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Ricardo? Why is your post all in red?
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Dave, you should have been ALL of my high school/college professors. Honestly. I'm a person who steps into the forest and instantly becomes lost. You've delineated each (pertinent) tree for me.
I will go back. "OMG" will be my watchword.
If ever I have said that plotting is important, you've proven that you guys have it down. I just couldn't see it.
With an overview, I feel armed. Thank you. That's "Thank you" sans empty sentiment. You've inspired me to feel bad about being gone so long. I hope to play a small part in Season 5. You know what you're doing.
And that is my actual feedback, which I very recently promised. Good job, Dave.
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I don't know how to say this, because it may be insulting. It shouldn't be taken as an insult, as I myself might have opted to use all red.
The thing is, Heather's post was so hot, it blinded me to any other post. I couldn't even read the Kyle Aston post--I'm not saying it's bad. I didn't give it a chance. I had to know what the hell Heather was up to. I skipped it. I had to see how Tash and Drew would fare.
Hot posts draw attention to themselves. When another player is posting a mere "normal" post, it fades in comparison. I'm guessing that Ricardo--like I might have done--would have wanted to draw attention to himself. I could be wrong. (Knowing me, I will be wrong. Heh.)
For metaphorical instance, I could have been in the process of being seduced by Michelle Pfiefer, but if a bomb went off in the room, I'd have turned my attention to the object of danger. Michelle Pfiefer is still Michelle Pfiefer, but a bomb is DA BOMB.
This is just a guess, Dave.
Ricardo, Matt, you're posts will be read. Please understand that my feet were burning at the time. :lol:
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That is a very good summary, Dave. :D Much better than reading the timeline, which it's very useful but not for a general glimpse, too much detail, and also better than the timetable, too little detail. :wink:
Maybe somebody else may volunteer to write a summary of the rest of the seasons?
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No worries mate :)
When I read Heather's I thought "ah, crap. I really need to post but how the hell am I supposed to follow that?"
*Shrugs* so I posted anyway, and I posted a fair bit...to build suspense for Heather's :P
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I'm actually going to be reading your post in a few minutes. :)
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This passage, just for instance:
He plodded along to the door. Franz wasn’t moving. He had to get through the door. The gunmen would get to them before the cops. Franz looked at him. His face was pale. Oliver put his hand to the scanner. A red light blinked. The panels didn’t slide open. He scanned his hand again. Still no passing. The gunmen entered the lobby, shotguns locked and stocked. The security guard behind the panels fumbled to manually override the locked panels.
I consider this to be aware writing. Whereas we writers tend to get lost in flowery speech, long winded passages, a piece like this shows an understanding of heart-pounding fiction. Pacing is tough to master; I sure haven't got it down. A split-second by split-second scene such as this requires short sentences, strung together, to show the imperative nature of the action.
Bravo.
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Alright, guys...Daye's picked up the phone...top two on her list are gonna be Marcus and Kate...but that's personal...if you wanna be one of the one's who gets that call...then let me know
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Daye stood and moved towards the bar, taking the telephone receiver in her hand, unaware that she was leaving a perfect imprint of her hand on the cool white plastic in her husband’s blood.
Kristen! You wouldn't dare! 8O Maybe this meant nothing, but. . . :( Am I reading too much into this?
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What!? Fingerpaint? :rastaban:
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Maybe I overreacted. I was too "in" the moment. (Thanks, Kristen! :) )
I guess I was worried that Daye was leaving bloody fingerprints on the floor. Bloody fingerprints are just dandy when the police arrive. The police love to arrest people who can be matched up with bloody fingerprints.
Maybe Kristen was going for the horror of Daye placing her hand absently in her husband's blood. But if that were the case, she could have written Daye stood and moved towards the bar, taking the telephone receiver in her hand, [deleted]
leaving a perfect imprint of her hand on the cool white plastic in her husband’s blood.
But she wrote Daye stood and moved towards the bar, taking the telephone receiver in her hand, unaware that she was leaving a perfect imprint of her hand on the cool white plastic in her husband’s blood.
Now that I'm over the shock, I see that Kristen was probably going for the horror of the situation. I had thought that Kristen was giving us a subtle clue--since Daye was unaware--that the action of laying her hand in the blood was significant. And it was significant, emotionally. I had taken it as a plot point.
Well, damn me for reading too closely. :lol:
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Actually, Sid, I took it the same way too. It's looking to me like Kris is setting Daye up for some potential trouble with the police down the track. I guess we'll just have to wait and see where she goes with it. :)
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Thank you, Heather. I was feeling, well, I was feeling like SID. Dave is such an intelligent guy. When he calls me on my bullshit, I fall in line. I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only one to notice Kristin's EFFECTIVE writing.
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Not calling you on bullshit at all, just being a clown. (hence the dancing banana) I saw it too, but I really don't try to telegraph plotlines. I've been blindsided too many times by ricocheting plotlines to even try to guess where it is going anymore.
And yes, Kris is a very effective writer, making her characters deep emotionally without being weighed down by their own lives. It is one of the traps I fall into myself, I over-complicate my characters sometimes without clearly explaining their subtleties...and so they come off as shallow. Kris never does that, her characters are genuinely warm.
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Well really it's more like different writing styles isn't it? I find Dave's writing to be more plot based - plot probably isn't the right word but what I mean is that his stories seem to have a clear direction and evolution with a distinct message or set of ideas that are explored throughout. I don't think that makes the characters seem shallow but it's more like they're operating on a different setting looking at things from a metaphysical level. (Adam's writing is also quite similar to this with lots of complex theories woven into the character's story.)
That's not to say Kris' writing doesn't have those qualities but (like my own writing) it is more heavily rooted in exploring emotional extremes (anger, lust, sorrow, joy, love) - it seeks to engage the audience through emotion rather than idea (in that we want to shock you, make you cry and sympathise instead of ponder on a set of ideas) - development in these kinds of characters comes from how they respond to different situations rather than a spiritual evolution. And I don't mean that Victor, Oz, Nikolai et al don't rouse sympathetic feelings in a reader either, they have certainly had emotional journeys but their overall journey as a character is more focused on the development of spiritual ideals.
That's how I read the difference between the two anyway lol. I'm probably wrong and you'll read this thinking I'm talking out of my arse ;)
Oh well, I'm gonna go back to writing stuff that will make people cry into their cornflakes :evil:
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Er, yeah. Maybe I should curb my enthusiasm. The feedback corner shouldn't be for EVERY little thought that goes through my head. Kristen would have been better served had I PMed her with my excitement.
Well, there's always next time. Live 'n' learn.
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Insightful. One thing I like about the writing at large around here is that--inevitably, actually--I know what to expect, style-wise.
When Dave, writes, for instance, I can feel his words unfolding as if I'd just sat down in a movie theater, and there it is, right there on the screen, the most recent example being the Pentacles/Cups post. And when Kristen and Lou write, I do just what Lou said, metaphorically pull out my bowl of cornflakes. I've never actually cried milk, but I do get my soap opera Scoobies. :P I feel as if I'm engaged to a romance novel. In general, of course. Don't take that as my boiling your stuff down into one genre, because that wouldn't be accurate.
You've all grown as writers since I was a player on LABN. Harder for you to see, having been here all the while, but easier for me, coming in fresh.
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I dont mind, i like reading 'all' feedback posts, i like to have some things pointed up, corroborate ideas, start new hipothesis... please go on. :D
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Kris, please call Alessa too. :)
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Louisa, dude. . .poor Kate!
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I shall take that as, um, a compliment... I think. :oops:
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You shall! :)
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Just read Benji's recent post (sorry man, but your name has slipped :?) and I want to say everytime I read more of your stuff, the more I like it. Especially Benji's relationship with his magic 8 ball. Looking forward to what you've got coming!
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*nods*
Thankee (it's Kent, by the by) :D
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Yeah, Kent. I also like the 8-ball. I was immediately intrigued by this unique prop. It reminds me of Two Face's coin-flipping fetish from the Batman comics.
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If you have not been reading "The Story of Oliver Bell" in the character Diary, you should be. The latest installment "Binary Love" is fantastic. Sid is really getting into his stride with these characters. I am impressed with th Binary Love becasue it has a double meaning to the story segment.
Read. Now. Why are you wasting your time on this twattle?
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Here is the Feedback Corner. And just to show I am paying attention...Sid, I had to smile at the "Warren Meers Technical Manual"
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Jamie:
Excellent use of counterpoint: The calm voice against the chaos in the Harbingers' lab. The Calculating plot of the demons against the frenzy of the humans. It all works to make the trouble coming at the Harbingers so much more deadly-seeming. PS: I did a cursory edit of your narrative, it was a tad run-on. It just needed a few commas, full stops and breaks to make it easier to read.
Niko:
I like the "Sin City"-esque black and white against garish color of the awakening. I also like the image of bubbling thick soup as the Hellmouth boils to the surface in LA. I am glad someone was able to see it and describe it.