Submitted by Heather on Wed, 10/09/2002 - 11:16
Posted in
Well, a couple of times people have come damn close to having me start this thread. Kris, in particular, has pipped herself at the post by a mere comma or two on occasion. But I resolved to be strong and not give this out until someone actually achieved the perfect post.
But finally, from the dark, one has appeared. A post with no spelling errors (apart from those pesky Americanisms which I've reluctantly agreed to let stand), no grammatical errors, no mis-punctuation. And so the Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award goes to...
JEFFREY :B-fly:
(or SID/SIDDY/JEPPI... anything else you like to call yourself...)
The post in question is game post #148 (near the bottom of page 10), relating to Hesch and Kimmie.
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The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
I am very, very honored. You've made my day. (Er, you've made my hour...I'll be depressed sooner than you can mispell dpresed.)
Because of how my mind works, I'm oddly insulted. This thread means that all my labors have lead to--despite the afforementioned labors--mistakes in grammar and whatnot. I'm depressed again. I usually only submit "perfect pieces of shit." I thought they smelled okay at the time, but now I know better.
But i will take heart in this honor. Thank you. We need others to read our stuff in order to see the light glistening through the branches.
If anyone is about to type, "Speech, speech!" I just made it.
*bow*
Bye.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
You beat me to this. I have been trying so hard to win this award. :cry: Ahh...well....I'll have to strive for something else, I guess. Seriously, though, way to go, Sid. Heather's a hard woman to please.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
You guys have totally got it wrong! If we all wrote perfect grammatical sentences Heather wouldn't have a job to do... she'd get lazy and complaicant, BTW in making my transcript I found a TON of errors! And not just the Americanisms...
Tut Tut Heather, you can't let your standards slip for a second, or we'll all have to worship Sid as the new Grammar Nazi.
Okay, I'm afraid, very afraid :? :? :? HELP!!
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
*whip* on Lou's back!
Write well, Loulabelle! Write well! And death to the Jews, while you're at it!
*whip, whip, whip*
(Hm, I kind of like this....)
*whip, whip*
Pardon...pardon me, Louisa, while I go...be alone...with my whip. *pant pant* Hold all my calls, and start me a fresh pot of coffee, won't you, luv? That's a good slave, good slave.
While I'm gone, Lou, I want you to write "I'm a bad, Lou-Lou" on the chalkboard 500 times. And write, "I Before E...something something" another 500 times.
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Brrrrr! I'll kill myself before I become The Grammar Nazi. The hours are horrible and I'm certain I'll have to dust off my copy of Strunk and White's Elements of Style and actually read the damn thing.
The day that occurs, the day I become Grammar Nazi, we'll all be
1) using the word "irregardlessly" with wild abandon. Just because it "can't" be done.
2) saying to ourselves, "Oops, forgot to put a period at the end of that sentence. I better go fix it. Yup, can't forget the period.....hahahahahahhahahahah....I said period! Gross. hahahahahahahahah. P.M.S. Ew! Period. haahhahahaha! .....Hey, what was I supposed to be doing again? Oh who cares? Screw this editing, I'm going for a beer.
3) singing, "All hail revision, all hail revision, editing's but the first step to ALL HAILING REVISION." (and capturing Heather and using her own blood to write REVISION on her forehead.)
4) drinking whiskey while we edit, whiskey while we edit (which, by the way, were the unsung words of Snow White's 7 dwarves in the deleted scenes)...la la la la la la la.
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Heather, I will always be your loyal subject. You are the one and only surf nazi--I mean Grammar Nazi :oops: --in my life. If I took over your job, the fate of the English language would be in slippery hands.
Lou's right about one thing. Let's all keep Heather in a job. Besides, who among us actually wants to consult our college grammar guides?
I didn't even know there was an award for the perfect post, Kristen. I'm sure I won this award QUITE by accident. I've not yet begun to butcher the written word. :!: Look out future...Bad Grammar Boy is in town.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Ooo err, what's more disturbing is that I actually enjoyed the whipping... ;) (just kidding) Sid you pick that whip up again I'll break your neck I crack the whip in this house hold! :P
Hehehe I might have some explaining to do come bikini season...
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Oh I live in your household now, Lou? Are you sure I'll fit in with the gentry?
Naw, I'll go live with a cockney chick any old day. She'll understand me, and I'll have hours of fun listening to her prounounce words like "deary," "insouciant," and "heroin addiction." But, if you don't mind, we'll stop in from time to time to use your lavoratory, okay?
Man *sigh* I can't wait for her to cockneyfy me. (Gods, that sounds so lurid, don't it?)
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Lou, the only reason you found errors in your transcript was that you used your original version, not the one I'd edited and sent to you. The verson NOW on the board is from my edited version.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Well actually I meant my transcript of the ENTIRE gameboard, not just that one post. But never mind. :D
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
After the first two board wipes and re-posts, I didn't have the heart any more to go back and edit all those posts a third time... most of the copies of the early posts had been taken before I ever got the job of Grammar Nazi.
And I tried to be good and do the Mid-Season posts, but I'm afraid I was having too much fun in America and only did about the first four posts in that forum. :roll: So, shoot me..... At least Season Two's been kept up to date. :)
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Can I? Cool :)
:2gunfire:
Actually just wanted an excuse to use this emotion... hehehe
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Right, Sid's award has been revoked. He's now officially in my bad books. He dared use the word... No, I can't type it. You know the one... it's the hybrid of irrespective and regardless. The word that doesn't exist except in the mouths of a portion of (ignorant) Americans. Even the American dictionaries say it's a non-word.
The worst thing was, he wrote it in such a way that I couldn't edit it - it's included in the speech of an 'ignorant' American. :roll: I could have forgiven you, Jeffrey, if you'd had Brinkley shudder at the use of the word, but no. You had to let it stand.
I'm sure you did it just to piss me off.
:wink: Don't worry, I'm not really mad at you. But I did use a long list of swearwords when I first saw it.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Yes, Heather, I used it to reaveal character and to make a point. You'll notice I put it in italics. That was for your benefit.
And as I said before, it IS a word, and it can be used in the right situation. In dialogue, especially. It showed the ignorance of the truckers.
Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary:
The most frequently repeated remark about it [irregardless] is that "there is no such word." There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. It's reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.
So, should we use it often? Of course not. But "there is such a word" and it does have its uses.
I feel I should get another award for my use of irregardless.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Yes, I did understand how and why you used it. I wasn't really all that upset. But I find that word the verbal equivalent of fingernails down the blackboard.
So now you have the award:
Most obnoxious use of a putative non-word.
:D
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
*sigh*
Make that most obnoxious use of a putative word and I'll accept. (Albeit a poorword, unless used thoughtfully in dialogue.)
:wink:
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
Hmm. Fascinating concept. Heather, how does one go about earning this award? :)
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
I'm far for wanting to earn that award. I know my limitations. But I read here that you can edit some of the posts characters write.
Since I'm a non-English speaking person I would very much like for you to edit any grammar mistakes I could have commited. For the spelling ones I have Word to thank.
Thank you.
The Prestigious Grammar Nazi Perfect Post Award
No problem, Ally. It's one of my duties as Co-Admin to edit the game posts for spelling and grammar (even with Word spellcheckers, sometimes one will get through, especially homonyms), as well as to ensure continuity is maintained and to update the timeline. Sometimes I can fall a little behind in game post editing, such as the recent hiatus during the Cast Party, but I do get there eventually. :)