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Character Proposal: Sift (rejected)

MrDave's picture
Posted in

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(drugdonkey@hotmail.com) on Wednesday, June 18, 2003 at 16:09:13
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charname: Sift
race: Vampire
gender: Male
bdate: May 24th 1961
group: none
position: Mature Vampire
descript: Short and lean, with no hair but tattos covering his head. He has bright blue eyes which get mistaken for being white. His clothes are a dark green.
history: Sift was once a man of 25 who went by the name of Harry. Out playing in his backyard with his kid brother, he saw a man moving towards him with lightening speed. The man was covered in blood, approaching Harry. Before Harry knew it the man was biting into his neck, sucking the very essence of life out of him. As Harry slowly faded he saw his brother being biten into and ravaged. After he woke up his brother was gone. He realised by the smoking of his hand, what he was. He has been wondering all his life, looking for his brother. At the age of 20, Harry became hungry for blood, he couldnt stand the taste of the dogs and cats blood he had been drinking, and which had been sending Harry into mad tendencies of talkin to himself. With the urge taking over him he broke into a late nite martial arts lesson taking place at the local town hall. After taking out the 15 students whos stood no chance because of his vampire enhanced strength he approached the sensei. The sensei saw the
items: Knuckle dusters, covered in spikes of sharp metal.
Wooden staff from his sensei. Pure oak.
Part of brothers T-shirt, so he cant try and loacate him.
powers: Usual Vampire powers.
Ability to heal through extensive meditation.
Ability to control human blood lust to due to extensive meditation.
Has learnt the art of Goshin Jutsu.
Has learnt the art of Kendo.
Hs learnt the art of Kung Fu.
Has learnt the art of Jeet Kun Do.
played_by: none
player: My name is mike, i am 16,i live in England, im just starting college. Im usually bored and i sit at the computer a lot. I Study 3 types of martial arts and like to play many different sports. And i know a guy called Matt who introduced me to LABN
age: over13
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Character Proposal: Sift (rejected)

MrDave's picture

Generally this is an acceptable character. Generally. I do have some things I'd like to see changed. You are not a mature vampire if you are less than 100 years old. Sorry. But that's minor.

Vampires don't really control their bloodlust. They are not just the same person transformed, they are a demon inhabiting the form of the human with some of the human's memories and personality quirks.

So while you might feel some sense of loss for the death of your kid brother, it more likely would be a sense of laughs for you. Why would your character be different from all other vampires in that regard?

other than that...even the laundry list of martial arts didn't phase me much at all. Looks okay

Character Proposal: Sift (rejected)

Firefly's picture

Agree with you Dave on the flaws here, but I see one more. This character idea needs to be fleshed out. We need more detail, more of a background on who the character is. Who turned him? Who was this strange vampire? What is the character really about? Tell us more.

Character Proposal: Sift (rejected)

Disposable_Hero's picture

Hehe...yup. There's Mike.

It seems there's a bit missing of the history. Probably those twin demons Cut and Paste again. I'll give Mike a shout and post what's missing asap.

Basically what he was tyring to get at, me thinks, is that Sift isn't all there. Not playing with a full deck. A few sticks short of a bundle. You get what I'm saying.

What do you suggest he does about the bloodluse/little brother issue?

Apart from those things, I like the character too. More vamps for Chance to interrogate.

Character Proposal: Sift (rejected)

MrDave's picture

From: "Michael Scamell"
To: Admin@latenightgames.com
Date: Wed, 16 Jul 2003 14:05:44 +0000
Subject: Re: LA By Night Character Submission
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thanks for sending me the e-mail, but i think i couldn't bring enough detail
to the character. After reading some of the stories that people are writing
i have decided im not good enough for your rpg. Though i have billions of
ideas i have no detail. I think i will continue to follow some of the
stories people are writing. Thanks again

Mike

Character Proposal: Sift (rejected)

Disposable_Hero's picture

I woulda posted that for him....but i was in a different country so it was a tad difficult.

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