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Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture
Posted in

If we have book recommendations, why not movie recommndations? This is more for me than anyone else. I need a place to look before I go to the video store; otherwise, I'll just wander around and end up renting something disappointing.

If you're so inclined, use the following format. If you hate formats, just give us a title and anything else you feel like adding.

FORMAT
Title:
Class:
Grade:
Formula:
Means:
Commentary:

Title is what the movie is called. If the movie is a remake, inclusion of the year it was made would be appreciated

Class is the same as Genre. But some movies are hard to classify in a neat word. I'd call Buffy the Vampire Slayer a Humor/Horror/Drama.

Next, all things considered, what grade would you give the movie? A? D+? C-. B- - ("bee minus minus")? Remember, a movie might get an F+ but still be hella fun to watch, thereby deserving a recommendation. Need I say Plan 9 From Outter Space?

A Outstanding
B Good
C Average
D Poor
F Phh!

The formula is a quick arbitration of what makes up the movie. Perhaps Jaws is Duel + Jacques Cousteau. Perhaps Fight Club is The Graduate + Heathers + (A Beautiful Mind / 2).

Yeah. I've got too much time on my hands. I don't sleep.

Anyway, next:

Suggest a means of seeing the movie. Possibilities:

See it big screen opening night
See it big screen
See it big screen matinee
See it big screen 99 cent discount movie / double feature
Rent it New
Rent it Old
See it on HBO/Showtime/etc
See it as the movie of the week
Watch it on a fuzzy, local channel when you're strung out at 3 AM
Don't see it (in which case, this isn't a recommendation...it's a warning)

Commentary: thoughts on the movie?

-------------------------
EXAMPLE

Title: Changing Lanes
Class: Suspense
Grade: C
Formula: Tin Men + Falling Down - rewatchability
Means: Rent it new or old
Commentary: I enjoyed it. Not full of surprises, but it didn't strike me as mindless. The acting was adequate.

So LET'S HEAR THEM, PEOPLE. I'VE GOT MOVIES TO RENT.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

What the heck? Bored and lack certain distractions right now.... :drinking:

Title: Modern Vampires
Class: Black Comedy
Grade: C+
Formula: Dracula + LA times (Rod Steiger+Udo Kier+Robert Pastoreli)
Means: Rent the Unrated DVD
Comments: Bizzare but fun. Worth seeing JUST for Pastorelli as the Count, and Steiger as van Helsing.... with his posse of Crips. Described by Elfman as a satire of modern decadance. Udo Kier has a minor role.

Title: Analyze This!
Class: Comedy/Gangster
Grade: B
Formula: Huh?
Means: Rental
Comments: Definately worth a look. What happens when a mafia boss suffers from a nervous breakdown?

Title: My Dinner with Andre
Class: Avante Garde
Grade: A
Formula: indescribable
Means: Rent the DVD.
Comments: Referred to as "the ultimate philosopher's movie" by one of my prof's for a reason. Has to be the single most multi-leveled movie I've ever seen, despite the simple plot (two men eating dinner and discussing odd things).

Title: The Majestic
Class: Romance
Grade: A
Formula: Frank Capra + 1950s
Comments: Sappy as hell. Still a great movie. Aptly described by one reviewer as "a big slice of apple pie with an American flag stuck in the middle."

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

ok, well, here I go

Title: The Count of Monte Cristo
Class: Classic Period Piece
Grade:B+
Means:Rent the DVD
Comments: This was actually quite good. I haven't read the book, but I thought the acting was pretty good and I loved the story and cinematography.

Title: The Lord of the Rings
Class: Fantasy Epic
Grade:A+++++ (what's higher? can I give it the highest possible grade of all time?)
Means: Rent it if you missed the big screen, but I pity you
Comments: Peter Jackson is a god and Elijah Wood is a genius. If you didn't rush out to see this in the theaters, rent the DVD, and when the Two Towers comes out, be the first in line. You cannot miss this work of cinemagraphic art.

Title: American Beauty
Class: Uplifting Comedy
Grade: A+++
Means: Rent the Academy Awards edition on DVD
Comments: Before I saw LOTR, I thought this was the greatest movie of all time. This story is rich and real, so don't miss out on it.

Title: The Time Machine (remake 2001)
Class: Classic
Grade: F -
Means: avoid it at all costs
Comments: This movie was meaningless drivel, loosely based on a great work of Science Fiction. Whatever you do, don't watch it

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Now, now Kristen, let's get a hold of ourselves.

When you do these grades *ahem* try to be realistic. (You're an emotional thinker, aren't you?) I pretty much agree with your assessments, but A++++++? I can' think of anything that deserves so many pluses. On occasion I could see maybe two +'s. And "F-"? Now, now, now. That movie wasn't that bad. An F- is just a little harsh wouldn't you say. Phh!

But oh well. You have the right to answer how you want. And thanks, because now I will consider seeing The Count of Monte Cristo.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

Bored again. Might as well offer a couple more.

Title: The Andromeda Strain
Class: Sci-Fi
Grade: B
Means: Another good rental
Comments: Spooky. The virus in this movie inspired Talhu's powdered-blood effect. Plot revolves around a group of scientist's trying to catagorize and exterminate a virus picked up by a satilite.

Title: Goodfellas
Class: Gangster
Grade: B
Means: Three guesses. VHS or DVD work.
Comments: Really good movie. Robert de Niro does another gangster. Joe Pesci has some really hilarious moments - especially when he goes on about being called a "Funny guy."

Title: Das Boot
Class: Foreign/Drama
Grade: A+
Means: In the original German, with English subtitles. Preferably as the Director's Cut.
Comments: IMO, the benchmark to use to judge submarine movies. Based on a true story, and captures the feel of the U-boats. And yes, U-96 really did have a laughing swordfish on its conning tower.

Title: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Class: Musical Comedy
Grade: B
Comments: Sort of an update of Plautine Comedy. Basic plot is simple: a Roman Slave, Pseudelous, tries to win his freedom by helping his young master win a courtsan. Chaos ensues.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Parasol's picture

Me, too -- bored now. Just a few and will probably think of more.

Title: Ravenous
Class: Wilderness Horror
Grade: A
Formula: Character study + Cannibalism + Sierra Nevada Winter + Cabin Fever + Style
Means: DVD
With: Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle and David Arquette
Commentary: I caught all but the first 35 minutes on cable and went out that night and bought the DVD. Gory, inventive, clever with a great plot. Showed me that David Arquette can actually act when he puts his mind to it.

Title: Deep Cover
Class: Crime
Grade: B
Formula: Way undercover cop + charismatic villain = gray area galore
Means: DVD
With: Jeff Goldblum, Laurence Fishburne, Charles Martin Smith
Commentary: Very stylish study of an undercover cop tempted by the Dark Side. Jeff Goldblum tears it up with his fabulousity. Lots of violence.

Title: The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
Class: Caper
Grade: B+
Formula: Crime + Grown-up Sex = chick flick with teeth
Means: DVD
With: Rene Russo (my hero), Pierce Brosnan
Commentary: Rene Russo is a fun actress to watch, off-beat without being alienating and she's 2 years older than I. *YAY!!*. Pierce Brosnan is a sexy beast. Ingenious revelation about the nature of the crime. Excellent remake of the Steve McQueen/Faye Dunaway classic with the same fashion sense (Rene's clothes are DA BOMB!!)

Title: Stalag 17 (B&W)
Class: WWII Drama
Grade: A
Formula: Hogan's Heroes - flippancy = guy flick with heart
Means: Cable but if you have an art movie house, you may be able to catch it.
With: William Holden, Otto Preminger, Harvey Lembeck (one of the greatest character actors you'll ever see), Peter Graves
Commentary: Billy Wilder at his best, snug plot, with the most satisfying ending to a movie I can recall.

Title: The World of Suzie Wong
Class: Romance
Grade: D---
Formula: Caucasian man lowers himself to save Hong Kong hooker liff ruv.
Means: Never
Commentary: Racist drek. I'd give it an "F" were it not for William Holden (one of my favorites) and Nancy Kwan. One of the Hong Kong hookers even has buck teeth and wears thick glasses. Ugh!!

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Tarix Conny's picture

Title: MIB 2
Class: Humor.
Grade: C+
Formula: hmmmmm
Means: See it big screen matinee
Commentary: It's a humoruos movie, or it tries to be, but i think it doesn't have much of a story line, the only reason i enjoyed this movie was because of Agent J and K's return, and ofcourse Frank, overall this sequel was forced to happened......!

Title: Resident Evil
Class: (tries to be) horror.
Grade: D+
Formula: Deep blue sea+Alien tril'
Means: Watch it on a fuzzy, local channel when you're strung out at 3 AM Commentary: ok, i really liked the game but the movie was a disappiontment, i thought it was all just pathetic. Although i still slightly enjoyed the story, emphasise on slightly!

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Tarix Conny's picture

I also wanted to add some oldie to the list....

Title: The King and I.
Class: Humor and Romantic.
Grade: A+++++++
Formula: Love +Stubborn King
Means: See it big screen matinee
Commentary: It's a very humoruos movie, and i am talking about the one with Yul Briner in it and no the cartoon. This is just a must seee classic. I absolutely LOVE it. Although the ending is a little sad, and makes me cry everytime i watch it, and i have watched it atleast 25 times if not more!

Title: Pretty Woman
Class: Humourous + Romantic.
Grade: Top Grade.
Formula: Ran Away bride+ Pretty Woman (the song)
Means: Big screen mantinee.
Commentary: This is another of my favorites and noone has ever made a romantic movie quite like this, ever. It is worth while to watch it.

Title: Sabrina.
Class: Humourous + Romantic.
Grade: Top Grade.
Formula: Not too sure, this one stands alone.
Means: Big screen mantinee.
Commentary: This is also another movie i loved watching, which i watched last night for the fifth time. It has a different story from the rest and warmed my heart!

Well, this was my "my all time favorite humorous yet romantic movies" post, i hope you all like them :) .

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Keep them coming. Thanks everyone.

Now let me explain the grading system, in spirit. Sure, you can answer anyway you want. But if you're interested in following the format, you should consider this, and then I'll never say another thing about it.

An "A" is the best grade. An "A+" is, as Fonzie might say, perfect-a-mundo. If you add a second qualifier (++), then that's like saying, "Oh my god! The movie made me cream my pants!"

I don't think thre is an A+++, by my reasoning. It starts losing its meaning. Maybe if God were to make a movie. But more than +++? No way.

And a B+++ is really an A-. And a C--- is really a D+.

There. That should cover it.

But if you insist on going overboard, I'd prefer that to NOT posting here. I now have lots of movies to see. And, Adam, I loved Dos Boot.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Meredith Bell's picture

Title: Lolita
Class: Book Adaptation (not sure how else I'd class it)
Grade: C+
Means: Watch on television
Starring: Jeremy Irons, Melanie Griffith
Comments: This is the re-make staring Jeremy Irons, although I'm told the original Peter Seller's version is very good. It's a very dark story, and quite painful to watch - but that's the nature of the story. Wonderful narration by Irons.

Title: William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (Dir: Baz Luhrmann)
Class: Romantic Tragedy
Grade: A+
Means: Either watch at the cinema (if you can) or get the DVD. Baz added special interviews when he remarketed the film for DVD.
Starring: Leonardo Di Caprio (don't let that put you off) Clare Danes
Comments: This is part of Baz's 'Red Curtain Trillogy'. Based on the Shakespeare play but with a modern, contemporary twist. The film seemlessly mixes the language of a Shakespearian play with a futuristic urban 20th Century backdrop. High impact, a visual sensation. Superb performances by all actors, fantastic musical score... too much to say, watch it for yourself... :D

Title: Moulin Rouge
Class: Romance/Musical/Tragedy
Grade: A+
Means: Again, Cinema if you can, otherwise the DVD is a must have, packed with over 6 hours of bonus features.
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, Jim Broadbent
Comments: What can I say? No other movie has ever ellicited such a responce from me, the acting is wonderful, the music - fantastic. This is the final installation in Luhrumann's 'Red Curtain Trilogy.' This is a visual feast of a movie, it aims to overwhelm the senses to the absolute max. and makes the best use of the visual medium that I have ever seen. The musical numbers combine modern songs in a period setting making Moulin Rouge an experience not to be missed.

If you haven't seen this movie already WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING??? GO, GO SEE IT NOW!! and make sure you take a BIG box of tissues with you....

Title: Gone With the Wind
Class: Romance/Drama/Epic
Grade: A
Means: I'd say cinema but anyone who can sit through a 4-hour film without needing the toilet has a stronger constitution than I do. Get the video and you can pause to make the occassional 'pit-stop' of toilet and cup of tea.
Starring: Vivian Leigh, Clark Gable
Comments: This is a classic film that everyone should watch at least once. Vivian Leigh won an oscar for her performance as Scarlet O'Hara, and the swarve Clark Gable as Rhett Butler is nothing less than bewitching. Listen out for those 'all-time' movie sayings... :D

Title: West Side Story
Class: Musical/Romance/Drama
Grade: B+
Means: Rent the video and sing-a-long
Starring: Natalie Wood, Richard Beymer
Comment: Fantastic musical adaptation of Romeo & Juliet set in America's west side.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

Okay, have a short amount of time for a few more. Those of you who know me will be unsurprised by some of these recomendations. :)

Title: Duck Soup
Class: Comedy
Grade: A
With: The Four Marx Brothers
Comments: A wonderful movie with an anti-war bent. Satirizes broadway musicals with a number titled "To War." Zeppo's last film with the Marxes. Like all Marx movies, the humour is based on wordplay and puns. This movie contains the often-imitated "mirror routine."

Title: Horse Feathers
Class: Comedy
Grade: B
With: The Four Marx Brothers
Comments: See above for an idea of the humour. Satire of higher education. Classic scene from this movie is the classroom pea-shooter duel between Groucho on the one hand, and Chico and Harpo on the other.

Title: Who Done It?
Class: Comedy
Grade: B
With: Bud Abbott & Lou Costello
Comments: A murder mystery, in which Bud & Lou get to solve a murder mystery.

Title: Dirty Work
Class: Comedy
Grade: C
With: Norm McDonald
Comments: Okay, really the kind of movie you get when you have nothing else to do, or don't want something you really have to think about. Norm opens a revenge for hire buisness.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: Panic Room
Class: Suspense / Thriller
Grade: B-
Formula: Cube - 100 Rooms + (Home Alone - lameness )
Means: Rent it or See it on HBO
Commentary: I must admit, most thriller-type suspense thingies leave me feeling the same. I think, "Decent acting, not totally predictable, made my heart beat a couple of times...I liked it! But I don't have to see it again." Panic Room was no different. I'm not sorry I rented it. I'd be interested in reading a thriller buff's review on this and other films.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Come on, Kristen, I'm waiting. How was Sweet Home Alabama?

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

Title: Sweet Home Alabama
Class: Romantic Comedy
Grade: A
Means: Go see it at the theater with your girlfriends or on a date with the one you love. It will make you feel good.
Commentary: Ok, so I'm a chick. If you all didn't realize that, well too bad. I loved this. I saw it with my sister and her mother in law. It was a great movie to see with the girls. I also think it would be a great movie to see on a date. I cried (I always cry at movies) but it was a good kind of crying. This wasn't manipulative. It was sweet and funny. I thought it was a lot deeper than a lot of the romantic comedies out there and I love Reese Witherspoon. So, that's my opinion. Hope you like it as much as I did.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

Title: Disney's Beauty and the Beast
Class: Animated Classic
Grade: A+++
Means: Buy the DVD! I command you!!!
Commentary: This is my all time favorite Disney movie. I think that the art is beautiful, the story is well done, and the music is so much fun. I totally adore Belle. She is my hero. I love this movie. If you've never seen it, you really should.

Title: Say Anything
Class: Romantic Comedy
Grade: A+
Means: Rent it on DVD.
Commentary: This is one of my favorite movies from my youth. It is funny and cute. John Cusak is in it (one of my favorite actors). It's quite a good little movie, and is an early Cameron Crowe work. I highly recommend it.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

I've been considering buying Say Anything on DVD. I really liked it. Better Off Dead, another Cusak film, but quite the opposite, is also good.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Mantheana's picture

A request for recommendations,

A) I am a sucker for religious thrillers. bless the child, stigmata, its all good. So if anyone knows some good ones I would welcome the recommendations

B) Alice needs a film to watch at her b'day party! Nothing above a 15 rating so recommend away...

recommending a few of my faves

Firefly's picture

Sid, get it. It's got deleted stuff. Woo hoo!

Title: Seventh Sign
Class: Religious Thriller
Grade: B+
Means: Rent this one, it's real good.
Commentary: This is an interesting take on the end of the world, apocalypse tale. It's a very young Demi Moore, who can also be seen in my next recommendation.

Title: One Crazy Summer
Class: Comedy
Grade: A
Means: Go out and rent it.
Commentary: There are a few really good comedies in the 80's(90's?) featuring John Cusak. This is one of those. It's one of those average guy/loser makes good against the rich, snotty kids kind of flicks. If you've never seen it, please do. You'll be glad you did.

Title: Better Off Dead
Class: Comedy
Grade: A
Means: Rent it.
Commentary: This is another of those great Cusak films. It's a fun story about a guy who gets dumped and wants to off himself. Seriously, this is a funny movie.

Title: Empire Records
Class: Rebel Comedy
Grade: A
Means: Rent or Buy it if you can,.
Commentary: This is a great little film about one of those really cool record stores you always see in the movies, but can't seem to find in real life. It's got Robin Tunney, and Joe Montegna. It's really good. The big musical number at the end is one of my favorites.

Title: Airheads
Class: Brendan Frasier Comedy
Grade: A (++ for Brendan himself)
Means: Rent it or catch it on cable.
Commentary: This is another fun rock rebel movie. It's about this band of idiots trying to get their song played on the radio. Along with Brendan (yum) it has Steve Buscemi and Adam Sandler.

Title: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
Class: Comedy
Grade: B+
Means: Rent or Buy
Commentary: Ok, if you haven't seen these, you should. This is the only role I believer Keanu Reeves was born to play. These are fun, light hearted movies to cheer even the gloomiest day.

Title: Casual Sex?
Class: Comedy
Grade: B
Means: Rent it.
Commentary: Come on, a comedy with Andrew Dice Clay as the romantic male lead. Who could possibly not see the humor in that. This is a good post sexual revolution bit of fluff.

Title: Back to the Future I, II, and III
Class: Comedy
Grade: A
Means: Buy the set this Christmas.
Commentary: This is one of the best time travel tales I know. It's fun and cute, and I had the biggest crush on Michael J Fox when I was a teen.

Title: The Passion of Darkly Noon
Class: Psychological Thriller
Grade: B
Means: Rent it when you want to see Mr. Frasier in a really different light.
Commentary: This is the most unusual Brendan Frasier role I've ever seen. It's a very dark tale, and I think you might be surprised by him.

Title: Legend
Class: Fantasy
Grade: B+
Means: Rent or buy the DVD
Commentary: This is a cool fantasy with a really great villain, Tim Curry as Darkness, sort of a twisted version of the big D himself. It stars Mia Sara and Tom Cruise as well. The only drawback for some may be what my husband has dubbed "The Tangerine Dream Soundtrack."

Title: Labrynth
Class: Fantasy
Grade: A+
Means: Buy this one and watch it again and again.
Commentary: With David Bowie as the oh-so-sauve Goblin King and a very young, very lovely Jennifer Connelly pre-puberty, this is a totally fun movie. The soundtrack is great and it features Henson puppetry. Go for it!

Title: Goonies
Class: Adventure/Mystery/Coming of Age Tale
Grade:A+
Means: I own it and so should you
Commentary: They just don't make many films for kids these days that can rival the imagination and fun of our troubled youth. This was a great buddy pic about a group of misfit kids on the adventure of a lifetime.

Title: The Neverending Story
Class: Fantasy
Grade: A++
Means: Buy it!
Commentary: This great fantasy flick stands the test of time. It's one of my 6 year old son's favorites. It's also about the power of reading and the imagination, so who could possibly say no to this movie?

Title: Return to Oz
Class: Fantasy
Grade: A+
Means: Rent it
Commentary: This was a really good rendition of Baum's vision. It was much better than the original Oz film (although I love "The Wizard of Oz") This was much darker and it featured a very young Faruza Balk before she became a bit scary.

Ok, I'll leave off for a bit now. Hope you like these as much as I do.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Meredith Bell's picture

Title: The Craft
Class: Occult/Teen Horror
Grade: A
Means: Watch it on video in the dark with your pals, maybe while dabbling in the black arts! (J/K)
Starring: Fairzua Balk, Rachel True, Neve Campbell, Robin Tunney, Skeet Ulrich
Comments: Witches of Eastwick with a teenage feel, four misfit girls form a coven and payback all their high school peers that made their lives hell. This film manages to convey a message without getting too preachy, it also has a kicking soundtrack to boot! :D

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

Title: Witches of Eastwick
Class: Comedy/Fantasy
Grade: A
Means: Rent it or Cable if you catch it.
Commentary: Well, Louisa mentioned it and I have to put in my two cents. This movie rocked. It's by far one of my favorite Nicholson pics, and that's saying a lot, because I really do love Jack. This movie is about a coven of free spirited witches who conjure up the devil to be their "boyfriend."

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Man, Kristen, the Passions of Darkly Moon shows the Sam Aubrey we'll get to know AFTER Mariah does her voodoo on him. *Brrrrrr* Also a great way to see a young Ashley Judd. I didn't like the film, but it was interesting and disturbing.

I agree with most of the movies listed above. I didn't care for The Craft as an adult, but I would have LOVED it at 15.

I also recommend (for Alice's b-day)

Title: Lady Hawke
Class: Moody Magical Fantasy Romance with a touch of smiles
Grade: A
Means: Rent it
Commentary: Mathew Broderick, Michelle Pfeifer (spelling?), and Rutger Hauer are all wonderful in this film about two lovers who are separated by day and night. Hauer is human by day and Pfeifer is hawk. Hauer is wolf by night and Pfeifer is human. There love is doomed to separation. Broderick is their common friend and liason.

Oh, and there's a Keep and dungeons and an jealous bad guy, yadda yadda yadda. But the overall story is moody and so very worth seeing.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

Speaking of Rutget Hauer.... :)

Title: Hostile Waters
Grade: B
Class: Submarine
Comment: Supposed to another based-on-a-true-story movie. Rutget Hauer is the Captain of Soviet submarine K-219, who has something of an accident with an American boomer tracking it.

Title: Fatherland
Grade: A
Class: Alternate History
Comments: Set in 1964 or 65, 20 years after the failure of the Allied invasion of Normandy. The result is that Nazi Germany, and not the Soviet Union, becomes the major power. Rutger Hauer is an SS man; Miranda Richardson plays an American reporter; they uncover the truth about Hitler's Holocaust. It's based on the book by the same name, which I should also highly recomend.

Title: Needfull Things
Grade: C
Class: Book Adaptation
Comments: Enjoyable, but nowhere near as good as the book by Stephen King. There's a reason this is "the last Castle Rock story." The plot is that Mr. Lelund Gaunt (who Max von Sydow was excellent as) has opened up a new store in Castle Rock, Needfull Things. At Needfull Things, you can find your heart's desire.... for a price.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Heather's picture

Sid, I have to agree - I absolutely love Ladyhawke (well, obviously, since as you've noticed I use the name on the other forum). But I do have one teensy criticism of your critique, and that's that you gave away the plotline!!!!

The very first time I saw it I knew nothing about it, and so had to work out the wolf/hawk thing (I was very proud of myself - sussed it out before they made it obvious). It can really make a difference to know that sort of thing beforehand, and it's why I'm so adamant about spoilers.

Ditto Tremors. (BTW, if you havne't seen Tremors, go hire it. It's a great film for roleplayers to watch.) I knew nothing about Tremors the first time I saw it, so was sitting there thinking 'what the fuck is it??'. I'm not going to tell you, in case you haven't seen it. But do. It's got Kevin Bacon in it. And some other people, but I can't remember who right now. It's not the most fantastically written movie, but it's a good beer and pretzels film.

Rutger Hauer

Firefly's picture

Ok, my favorite Rutger Hauer film is one that maybe not a lot of you have seen.

Title: Split Second
Class: Mystery/Thriller/Supernatural Horror
Grade: A++
Means: Whatever you have to do, see this movie.
Commentary: I will avoid explaining this one to save us all from spoilers. However, it's funny, scary, and cool. If you can find this one, rent it.

Also, just remembered this one...

Title: Bad Dreams
Class: Pschyological Horror
Grade: A++
Means: Rent it soon.
Commentary: This is one of the coolest, scariest movies I have ever seen. It is a total mind trip and I highly recommend it.

Title: Misery
Class: Psychological Horror
Grade: A++
Means: Rent this one too.
Commentary: This is the best Stephen King adaptation, I think. Kathy Bates was absolutely terrifying and brilliant in this twisted fan fable.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

I didn't realize I was giving away the plotline to Laydhawke, Hether. I thought I was setting up the plot situation. :oops:

Okay, I'll be more careful with this next review.

Title: Big Trouble
Class: Wacky Comedy
Grade: B+
Formula: Spielberg's 1941 / superspeed + ([i]Seinfeld[/i] /2)
Means: Rent it or see it on HBO (perhaps while inebriated)
Commentary: I read this book about a year ago, meaning I read the first five chapters and then lost interest. But I laughed while reading those chapters, and I laughed while watching the movie.

It's got Tim Allen, Janeane Garofalo, the guy who played Putty in Seinfeld, Rene Russo, and Jason Lee. It centers around a bomb that comes to Miami. I won't say any more.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

The guy who played Putty on Seinfeld? I am ashamed of you. That guy is Patrick Wharburton. Among other genius roles, (way better than just the Putty one), Patrick played The Tick on the live action Fox show that only lasted like a month. This was a hilarious, fantastic show, which is probably why it was canceled so quickly. And Wharburton was absolutely brilliant as the Tick. So, I repeat, shame on you, Jeffrey.

Anyway...

Title: Kung Pao, Enter the Fist
Class: Comedy
Grade: D
Means: Don't watch this stupid, boring movie.
Commentary: This is a movie that the guys in my house find hilarious. I just don't get the appeal. I think it's really boring, and not at all funny.

Title: The Ring
Class: Horror
Grade: A (but I hated it)
Means: Go see it if you like to be scared.
Commentary: Ok, I still can't be alone in the shower or go to bed alone, and I watched this Thursday night. This was the scariest movie I've seen since I was 9 years old and saw the original Poltergeist for the first time ever. I didn't sleep for almost two weeks after I saw that. The Ring is a remake of a Japanese horror film. The imagery and story are really frightening, and the concept is fairly original. I suggest you see this if you like scary movies. (*Word of warning, if you like a happy endings, like me, then you will be ticked off when you leave the theater.*)

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Heather's picture

Don't feel too bad, Sid. The back of the video tells you that much, too. But I make it a policy not to read the back of the videos because in my view they always give away far too much of the plotline. :roll:

Maybe I'm just fussy... but I'm a firm believer in 'the less you know of a movie, the more enjoyable it will be'. Assuming, of course that it's a decent movie. Hence, recommendations are a good thing. I remember when I saw Sixth Sense the first thing I did was ring everyone and say to them: "Watch it. Don't look at any shorts, don't read any reviews, don't find out anything about it. Just watch it."

Oh, and BTW Kris - yes, Split Second is a great movie. Apart from anything else, it has Rutger Hauer in it. :)

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

That is so my same philosophy, Heather. My husband reads every plot synopsis and script treatment around before he sees a movie. He knows everything that's going to happen before we even get to the theater. What's the point of that? You're wasting your $8.50. I much prefer to be pleasantly surprised. That's the whole point, in my opinion.

As for The Sixth Sense, my husband ruined that movie for me by guessing the big, surprise ending and then telling me in the theater about 10 minutes into the movie. Trust me, if you know the secret, it's like watching a totally different film.

So...

Here's what I watched last night.

Title: Life or Something Like It
Class: Romantic Comedy
Grade: B+
Means: Rent it when you're looking for something sweet.
Commentary: This was not the best movie I've ever seen, but it was pretty good. It also happens to star Ed Burns, who I think is totally yummy. And there's a small role for that cutie that played Leslie on Angel.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Oh, Kristen. Be nice. Patrick Wharburton's name left me. It's that memory thing.

Title: Hollywood Ending
Class: Woody Allen Movie
Grade: B
Means: Rent it or see it on TV
Commentary: Another Woody Allen movie. If you liked his last couple, you'll probably like this one. It's about a director who makes a movie while pschosomatically blind.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Meredith Bell's picture

Title: The Blair Witch Project
Class: Horror
Grade: B
Means: Preferably watch it on the big screen to get maximum impact
Starring: A bunch of unknowns
Comments: I know lots of people think this movie is overrated but I think this strips horror back to the bare bones. It plays on the basic fears of humanity - the unknown. Just try to avoid throwing up in your popcorn, the filming is rather skittish so it's bad for people who suffer from motion sickness!!

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

I agree 100%. Blair Witch was a good movie that explored TRUE horror. The horror came not from a monster, but from the breaking down of the characters. I think people that rag on Blair Witch aren't fans of horror; they should stick to watching terror films: Friday 13 and a slew of others.

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is the fear of the unknown.

--H.P. Lovecraft

---------

Title: Dagon
Class: Lovecraftian Terror / Horror
Grade: B-
Formula: That old television show The Prisoner + the song fish heads
Means: Rent it cheap, or watch it on TV
Comments: It's hard to find a good Lovecraft film, and even when you do (Mouth of Madness), it turns out to be merely a Lovecraft-like film. Dagon isn't the best film of the year, but it wasn't bad. Mostly it's an escape plot, but near the end it turns into a personal horror. If you like HPL mythos, Dagon will provide you with a few Oh Wows, simply because you've read about similar situations in the short stories. And the main character is reminiscent of Jeffrey Combs.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

MrDave's picture

Title: The Transporter
Class: Action and guns. Lots of guns
Grade: B
Formula: Car chase,danger, love interest
Means: Playingin theatres
Comments: This film is a good popcorn movie. THe kind of film you watch with a healthy suspension of disbelief. THe first half of the film is very good the second half lags somewhat (mostly becasue of the love interest). But still and all entertaining.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: The Ring
Class: Investigative Horror
Grade: A-
Formula: The Changeling + Poltergeist + (Sixth Sense / 3)
Means: Rent it (it's good on big screen, but the gimmick works better on video)
Comments: Yep, just when I thought, "Okay, this is what I expected," they managed to scare me. (You'll know how things went if Kristen and I are dead in 7 days.)

I disagree with Kristen. I wasn't ticked off when I left the theater. The last fifteen minutes took the film from a B to an A-. It kept me from classifying this as a Horror/Terror film. It's pure horror.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Mantheana's picture

Title: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Class: Gangster
Grade: B
Formula: English Gangsters+rigged polker games+Vinnie Jones+large debts+death threats+drugs+HUGE quantities of IRONY
Means: rent, and if you like it, buy...
Comments: Brilliantly done. Just how you would picture British gangsters to be. There are no good guys. Only other guys also out to get MONEY(and spaced out girls). Methods of doing this include drug growing, card games, scams, theft, and heisting off any one else who has done any of the above. The amount of bad/good timing and ironic moments is great. Plus you get a recount in Cockney rhyming slang that even has subtitles... how cool!

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Firefly's picture

I told you all, it's a personal hang up. For I'd say 90% of you, you'll love the ending of this movie. I just like it when good things happen in the end. It's my personal Pollyanna complex. Don't mind me.

Title: The Princess Bride
Class: Romantic Fantasy
Grade: A
Means: A must own movie.
Commentary: This is one of my favorite movies, about true love and high adventure. The book, on the other hand, is hands down my absolute favorite piece of literature of all time.

Title: Grease
Class: Musical Comedy
Grade: A++
Means: Gotta buy this one, cause it's a classic.
Commentary: This is my favorite movie, hands down. I really love it. I've seen it about a million times.

Title: Lilo and Stitch
Class: Disney Animated musical comedy
Grade: A
Means: Rent or buy this gem when it comes out.
Commentary: This movie was funny and poignant, and most importantly, original. This is the first Disney movie using a wholly originaly storyline. It was fun and the music (mostly Elvis) was great.

Title: The Iron Giant
Class: animated
Grade: A+
Means: Buy it!
Commentary: This was a surprisingly great little film. If you haven't seen it yet, go and rent it. Give this gentle giant a chance.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Yeah, Kristen, I own Princess Bride. I'd say it's a must own, a perfect fantasy romance. It's not a TRUE romance :lol: , another must have movie if you respect love stories, but it is perfect.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

Must give another one, because Sid just reminded me of this one with another thread.

Title: My Fellow Americans
Class: Comedy?
Grade: B
With: Jack Lemon, James Garner, Dan Akroyd
Means: Only rental left available, or watching on HBO

Jack Lemon is former Republican President Russel Kramer; James Garner is former Democratic President Matt Douglas. Both of them have a deep abiding hatred for each other, and become reluctant allies when they become the target of a conspiracy within the current administration - Kramer's VP, Haney, now President.

Have to include my favourite exchange:

Kramer: Alright, you want to compare popularity ratings? There was only one assasination attempt on me. You had three.
Douglas: Two! The woman in Phoenix doesn't count, she only had a starter pistol.

Title: The Comrades of Summer
Class: Comedy
Grade: C
Qualification: This movie has no middle ground. You will either enjoy it or hate it.
With: Joe Mantegna

Alright, so this isn't a great movie. It's cheesy as hell, but enjoyable. Joe plays Sparky Smith, recently fired baseball manager from the states. His mission? To teach baseball to Soviet Union's Olympic Baseball team. Enjoyable just for the character of Milov. One line still sticks out again after all this time:

Milov - "They want a VCR, and three tapes: Dr. Zhivago, Deep Throat, and Debbie Does Dallas."

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Heather's picture

Hannah, definitely have to agree with you on "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"... fantastic movie. :)

And if you like that, then you'll love this...

Title: Two Hands
Class: Gangster/Satire
Grade: A-
With: Heath Ledger and Bryan Brown
Means: Buy the dvd if you can find it, or rent it.

Heath Ledger is a wanna-be gangster who does a job for kingpin Bryan Brown and fucks it up...

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Okay. Update. The Ring goes from an A- to an A. It's been days and I'm still creeped out. I'm paranoid, of course, and cowardly as Shaggy, but it was a good movie.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: Shaolin Soccer
Class: Action/Comedy
Grade: A
With: Stephen Chow (He starred, directed, and wrote the movie just like Amber Benson :P)
Means: It will come out on the movie theater in US soon, but I recommend you guys buy the DVD.

This is about 5(??) siblings, who knows Shaolin Kung Fu, getting together playing soccer, coached by a former soccer star. One of five (Stephen Chow's character) is a good kicker, and he brings back his siblings kung fu skills. Then, they use their kung fu skills to play soccer. Of course, there's a love interest.

(BTW, I really recommend, if you want to see the movie, buy the DVD and not watch it on the theater. I heard the movie company whoever bought the movie from Stephen, cutted a lot of good stuff. Plus, there's dubbing. I think the dubbing would be horrible. Subtitles are better.)

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: The Shipment
Class: Hick Western / Maffia (wise guy) Comedy
Grade: C++
Means: Watch it on TV
Commentary: It's entertaining. Slightly above average. Involves smuggling viagra up cow's butts. You know, high brow humor.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: Joe Somebody
Class: Tim Allen Comedy
Grade: B
Means: Rent it, Watch it on TV, whatever.
Commentary: I used to hate Tim Allen. Now I realize I just hated his Home Improvements show. He's not bad, and this movie wasn't bad. It's about a guy who gets bitch-slapped in front of his daughter by Seinfeld's Putty (sorry Kristen :oops:) and goes on a quest to learn to fight. It's one of those movies you can sit down and enjoy, perhaps feel an emotional twinge here and there, and take back to the video store without feeling ripped off. But you'll like the movie more if you don't pay the price of a new rental.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

Title: Man of La Mancha
Class: Musical/Comedy/Action/Drama
Grade: A++
Means: If possible, see a good theatre production; otherwise, rent the O'Toole film.
Comments:

Multi-layed, excellently done. I only rented it because, quite frankly, WGMS was promoting the hell out of the broadway-bound production in the national theatre (which only lack of ability to drive is now preventing me from buying tickets for), and wanted to get the songs out of my head. Needless to say, they're now stuck in there rather firmly. :)

Inspiring, wonderfull, moving. Also multi-layered. Will have to spoil the beginning some, but it certainly helps to understand what is going on. Cervantes and his friend have been arrested and brought before the Spanish Inquisition. While waiting in prison, they face a mock trial from the other prisoners. Cervantes stands accused of being an idealist, a bad poet, and something else (I can't remember what the Duke called him exactly), and in his defense, puts on a play, with the prisoners assuming various roles. It's easy to make out the changes in the movie, but imagine the play may be a little more confusing without this note, for those of you lucky enough to see a production.

Alright, shutting up now... :)

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: Drunken Master II
Class: Jackie Chan movie
Grade: A+
Means: Good choreographied action. Bit of a confusing storyline, but it's okay.

Action = Well done. Jackie Chan is unbelievable in this movie. Jackie Chan kicks everyone's ass on this movie.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Title: Brotherhood of the Wolf
Class: Wannabe Fantasy Horror
Grade: C-
Formula: Dragon Slayer - Fantasy + Frankenstein's Monster + Taming of the Shrew
Means: Watch it on HBO
Comments: This movie had a lot of neat imagery. It also intrigued me from time to time. I think it could have been a B movie in the hands of the right editor. Unfortunately, it dragged every other scene. This tells me that half the movie could have been cut and placed in the Deleted Scenes of the DVD version.

On the good side, it's sort of a werewolf movie. A creature called the Beast is hunting the countryside of, I think, ressaisance France. Were this movie edited properly, I might have feared the Beast.

Though the romance is boring, the red-headed girl in this film is hot. Totally hot. If you rent this film as an erotica substitute, you might be satisified. Watch her scenes in bed.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Kaarin's picture

Title: Love At First Bite
Grade: B
With: George Hamilton, Susan Saint James, Richard Benjamin, Arte Johnson
Means: Only available on VHS.
Class: Comedy/Vampire Spoof

Hamilton plays Count Dracula, and Johnson is Mr. Renfield. The plot is simple - Dracula, having been evicted from his home, travels to America in search of the only woman he has ever loved (Sindy Sondheim - James) who has a bumbeling Rosenburg for a boyfriend.

Also the source of a line I have yelled at my hounds on occassion: "Children of the night, shut up!" :)

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Along the lines of love at first bite, I'd recommend Once Bitten, a Jim Carrey movie before anyone knew who the hell he was. He acted less like Jim Carrey than you'd expect.

And for the record, Kristen liked Brotherhood of the Wolf. Just thought I'd mention that. Not that I scared you off from that movie, but in case I did, there are other opinions to be had.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Parasol's picture

I just got home. I saw a movie called "Adaptation." Nicholas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper. Written by Charlie and Donald Kaufman, of "Being John Malkovich" note.

I can't explain it because whatever I explained would leave out a thousand important details. It's kind of a movie within a movie within a movie imitating art imitating life.

It reminded me of what Sid writes. Situations that are imaginative and far-fetched yet common and recognizable.

If you liked the loopiness of "Being John Malkovich," I think you would like this.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers
Class: Sword and Sworcery Fantasy Blockbuster
Grade: A (I think)
Formula: Tolkien x 1 longwindedness and imagination
Means: See it in the theater
Commentary: I was wasted when I watched this movie. I had to sit in the front row and stare straight up for 3 hours. Ouch, my neck. And my ass was falling off of my butt like cooked turkey, and I nodded off at least twice. But when I was coherent, I noticed how good the movie was. Gollum was better than I'd hoped.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Star Trek Nemesis
Class: Star Trek lore
Grade: B-
Formula: Star Trek IV + (Star Wars / 5)
Means: Rent it
Commentary: It wasn't bad. At first I was aware of how cutsie they were being, and how much this felt like a party. Picard was pushing the envelope of humor. Barf. The only characters, as usual, who were worth mentioning were Picard and Data. I considered this movie less a Next Gen show and more of a Picard/Data Comedy/Tragedy Hour. The film got better as it went on.

The story felt Shakespearian (spelling?), or perhaps Arthurian. The ideas behind it were good, but they didn't spend enough time developing Data's brother's story, nor the conflict between Picard and his significant foe. Overall, I'd say this was a story about brothers, which was good. And in the end I promise you that you'll get choked up, and right afterward, you'll get left with chills and that Rodenberry-esque sense of hope for the future. It was akin to how Data found his cat Spot alive after the Enterprise crashed. I'm getting chills right now remembering both of these scenes, but I won't spoil it by revealing the denouement.

I recommend that fans see it--as if they weren't already! The battle scenes are breathtaking and intense, if only for a short time, so you might want to see it big screen. Save yourself some grief, though. Go matinee.

I wish they'd had more battle with the new Enterprise and more character development for our protagonists, Picard and Data. I wish they'd provided less camer time for the useless characters. Worf was just plain sad. Well, maybe they'll do a Deep Space 9 movie and Worf will get to shine. Next Gen pussifies the guy. And as you might have expected, Dr. Crusher, Jeordi, and Troi were superfluous. And Riker served only to get the ship into trouble, as per usual, so Picard could come save the day.

They stuck Captain Janeway in, briefly, God knows why. They tried to make it seem like she and Picard were old buddies. It made little sense, and it felt shoved in my face. It was totally an audience-pleaser, except I got mad watching it.

So, if you're a fan, there are enough Scooby Snacks in this film to make it worth seeing. But you'll probably feel it's like Phantom Menace: 50% good, 50% shit. Rent it. I almost wish I had.

Movie Recommendations (or warnings)

Soulless Zombie's picture

Smoochy Must Die (or was it called, Death to Smoochy? I don't remember.)
Class: Purple Comedy
Grade: B-
Formula: Throw Mama From the Train + Barney + (The Sopranos - drama)
Means: Rent it or See it on HBO
Commentary: Ed Norton, as usual, is good. Robin Williams is always the same: pretty good. The story involves a performance artist who gets picked to replace Robin Williams as the host of a children's show. Robin Williams schemes to get even, but the movie doesn't bore you with that forever. It took the story elsewhere, so I kept watching. Not great, but worth a viewing.

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